How? You ask. With the action or process of bettering oneself or overcoming one’s problems without the aid of others. In other words, self-help. While you grumble and groan, thanks to Merriam-Webster dictionary for the definition.
Now the name sounds deceiving. Because help is available for you. You do have friends, family who care about you and trained professional help available. Yet you must do the actual work yourself. The work you probably don’t want to do. Yet the only one who can improve your life is you. Your friends and family can’t keep doing the stuff you don’t want to do for you. They have their own stuff to deal with.
One of the many benefits of self-help are according to Martha Beck is, “Once you’ve learned how to connect with your feelings and move in the direction of feeling better (even a tiny bit) you’ve got a skill that will take you to the right resolutions. You won’t have to make them, you’ll find yourself able to follow them. (1)
If you’re still reading this, that means you are at least interested in the process.
Some tips for effective for taking care of your mental health, according to the National Institute of Mental Health are to get exercise on a regular basis. You need only a total of 30 minutes of walking a day, eat healthy, stay hydrated, make sleep a priority. The light from screens makes it more difficult to fall asleep. (2)
Cultivating a positive outlook can improve resilience and mental clarity. It seems like the world can both dismiss and focus on doom and gloom. It might be nice if the world was all puppies and sunshine. Yet that isn’t realistic or healthy to ignore your negative feelings by bottling them up and buried.
Smooth seas don’t make a skilled sailor.
Don’t ignore, dismiss or bury negative feelings. They need to be felt and expressed in healthy ways. No one likes to be ignored. You keep ignoring or numbing your negative feelings will not make them go away.
Get your negative feelings out by journaling and introspection. While being kind to yourself. Yes, you made some choices you aren’t proud of. You made decisions based on what you knew at the time. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by beating yourself up for those decisions.
Self-Help Resources: These are not meant to be a substitute for actual therapy, yet they can help. There are plenty out there. Like books, podcasts, online communities, workshops and seminars, as well as apps and tools.
A challenge of self-help is overwhelm. While self-help are two small words, they have a big impact. Some people think it’s rubbish. That could be because we are taught to look for help from other people. At times, it’s needed. Yet your doctor isn’t coming to your home every day to make sure you’re taking your medication. That’s on you. That’s your responsibility. Some people don’t want to take responsibility for their decisions and life.
Some people make unrealistic expectations. Instead of making HUGE unrealistic expectations, start small, make consistent moves and be kind to yourself when you don’t meet a goal.
Track your progress by journaling or setting small, realistic milestones. And celebrate wins. Even the small ones. You can do this. Even if you don’t think you can, I know you can.
If you do only one thing today, be kind to yourself. Start by looking in a mirror and not criticizing yourself. If you shed a couple tears, good. You’re releasing some stuff. Let me know how looking in the mirror goes in the comment section.
2 https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
Reinventing yourself 
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